Dear Mama,

Yes, I'm speaking to the woman who has decided she wants to become a mother, the woman who birthed children AND to the woman who is cultivating her inner mother in order to tend to her inner child. I am witnessing and honoring your journeys. Whichever path led you to the threshold of motherhood, welcome.

My experience as a mother has been transformative and has forced me to intimately know and embody my inner archetypal mother and tend to my inner child in a profound way. Below is my experience and the aspects of motherhood in which I serve and support other women. May these words touch and inspire you.

With oceans of love,

Lara

Sacred Motherhood

The use of ritual, prayer, ancestral healing work, and ceremony can help us honor our transition into mother as a rites of passage, deepen into the sacredness of all stages of motherhood (particularly pregnancy and childbirth - which is challenging for some), prepare for childbirth, and bring deeper meaning into our relationship with the earth and our children.

Conception: The journey of conception is effortless for some and fraught with challenges & difficulties for others. Fortunately, I conceived my two children effortlessly at age 42 and 45, but I know that is NOT the case for many. I believe many factors supported my conception journey, such as my connection to my womb and sexual expression, seeing my body as a temple and taking exquisite care of it, prayer, ancestral support, and finding the right partner to further my soul's evolution. As women, our conception journey can be a wonderful opportunity and invitation to become the best and healthiest version of ourselves. I offer support, tools, and guidance specifically tailored for women who are struggling with their conception journey.

Pregnancy: Some women revel in being pregnant and have "easy" pregnancies. That was not the case for me. For example, I was nauseous during both pregnancies and diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 24 weeks during my second pregnancy. I experienced a lot of fear mongering from my obstetrician because of my age, the diagnosis..etc. I paused, took time to reflect and listen to my body and consulted with a naturopath and midwife. Within two weeks my blood sugar levels were balanced, but western medicine still attempted to treat me as if I still had diabetes. When allopathic medicine failed me, I turned to the time-tested tools of meditation, prayer, herbs, midwives’ support, shamanism, and other earth based honoring practices for support on my pregnancy journeys. Whatever you are faced with, there is so much support in the seen and unseen world. I can attest to that, and am devoted to sharing these age-old natural and traditional medicine paths with mamas.

Miscarriage: I had a miscarriage in between pregnancies. I was nursing five times a day, running a private practice, and caring for my toddler. Needless to say, my body was undernourished and overwhelmed. I had enthusiastically planned out my entire year to prepare for our second baby’s arrival, but despite the depletion I felt, I had NO idea what was coming. The moment I started bleeding, I headed to the doctor. She couldn’t confirm anything but did say it is very possible I was losing the baby. She advised me to go home and wait. Wait, WHAT?!?!?! I wanted confirmation but when I got still and listened to my body, I knew what was happening. That very evening I curled up in fetal position and allowed nature to take it’s course. The wailing and grief that I felt in my body caused it to quiver in anguish. Every ounce of my being was saying, “Oh, precious mama, your baby is gone.” I can feel the deep ache in my heart and lump in my throat as I write this. It’s a grief and loss that will forever live in my body. I spent a few days feeling and processing the grief until I was ready to engage in ritual. I had kept some of the pregnancy tissue & buried it in the earth. I collected prayers and chants and planted a beautiful flower in memory of my rainbow baby. That baby is forever sketched into the fabric of my being. It just wasn’t our time. I offer a sacred space of refuge and ritual for women who are grieving miscarriage.

Birthing: Birthing a child is a rite of passage, an opportunity to rebirth ourselves. We shift from maidens to become mothers, which is a sacred role and opportunity to transform the world by raising good humans. Here are a few reminders I have for mothers preparing for the birth, based on my experience:

YOU are more powerful than you EVER imagined.
If you descend into a dark place, please remember it is for the sole purpose of emerging into the light. A soul illuminated teaching is waiting for you. We must travel to the depths to discover the divinity that lies with all women to create, nurture, and birth new life.
Giving birth, and motherhood in general, is an opportunity to visit the developmental themes/wounds looking for healing and resolution. In essence, this journey awakens us to our true self. Our children choose us and present the opportunity to become the best versions of ourselves, the mothers they need us to be, and the fulfillment of our soul’s mission. May we all be blessed with the embodied knowing that the souls which we call our children open our hearts to unconditional love and invite us back home to ourselves.

Postpartum: Once again, we discover how powerful we are. Post-birth, we need sufficient time to heal, as well as a community of support - whether that is a postpartum doula, family or friends. We are given the opportunity to practice the art of receiving, resting, and being. If we are afforded the opportunity to take time off, this period invites us into the timeless space of being. We arrive moment to moment with no goals other than responding to our needs and the needs of our beloved baby. This way of experiencing time is not what we are accustomed to but if we surrender to it, name and get the help for whatever is arising, we can experience a sense of timelessness, a vastness, an open space of oneness. This poem helped me during my postpartum period. I was coping with pelvic floor dysfunction from a birth injury (prolapse) and anxiety and depression because of my limited mobility and chronic extreme discomfort sitting and walking. The mantra, "This too shall pass" was important for me to recite daily. I provide support and tools for mamas who need guidance around the critically important postpartum period.

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (PFD): When I was first diagnosed with PFD after giving birth, I stayed in bed for two days feeling depressed. My doctor said I had a rectocele and that if it didn’t improve, there was a great surgeon in the building. My doctor seemed alarmed, which scared me. The part of me that is a naturalist and trusts my body’s ability to heal from birth lost it’s power to the postpartum cascade of chemicals limiting my innate resilience and optimism. I felt despair. After the two days in bed, I began to ask for support and consistently name my experience. I tapped back into my resourceful nature and began to research. I found a plethora of resources including MOONRISE STREAM and hypopressives. This set me on a trajectory of hope, faith, and freedom to choose. I am now walking, dancing and moving around with ease. For new mamas struggling with PFD, there IS hope! I have information and resources to share with you in our session work.

Motherhood: While each of us invite souls into our life in different ways (in vitro, naturally, adoption etc.), we all walk the same transformational path of motherhood. Motherhood is a spiritual journey whether we accept it as such or not. These beautiful souls come into our lives inviting us, should we choose to accept, to be the best version of ourselves, to become a steward of the earth, to make the world a better place by creating kind humans, to heal dysfunctional intergenerational patterns, and awaken our pure hearts. Motherhood is a shamanic journey, inviting us home to ourselves in the most humble way, to realize the interconnectedness of all things and the multidimensional layers in all experiences.

Here is what I wish for you, beautiful mama, soon to me mama, and archetypal mother:

May you see your children (or inner child) as your spiritual teacher reflecting back to you all that needs to be released, awakened, and healed.
May you BE the love, kindness, and source of hope your children and the world needs you to be. May your children walk in your footsteps, touch the world with kindness and magnify love.
May you begin to see your sacred connection with Mother Nature as a reflection of your own beauty, and the source of your nourishment and celestial mother. May you always remember she is holding and supporting you through all stages and phases of motherhood and your journey as a woman. Breath her in. Ground into her. Ask her to hold and protect your children when you are no longer around. Teach your children to respect and honor her as she is the Mother of all.

Wherever you are in your motherhood journey - if you have children, or are tending to your inner child while creating a relationship you need to tend to, I bless you with embodying all the qualities of MOTHER: nurturing, leader, wise, compassionate, and loving all sentient beings.

To the mother who tends to her children, I bow to you.

To the archetypal mother within all of us tending to her inner child, I bow to you.

To the mother of us all, Mother Earth, who nourishes and heals us, I bow with deep reverence to you.

Children as Our Pathway to Awakening: For quite some time, my response to my 2 1/2 year old daughter was codependent (being overly nice because she wanted daddy ONLY most of the time). I would be overly nice and my boundaries were too permeable. At other times, when she was not listening to me and splashing water or throwing something at her scared baby brother, I became quite reactive. My boundaries were VERY rigid leaving my daughter feeling shamed and abandoned. As I examined this--thanks to my husband who is a wonderful mirror for me--I realized my childhood wounding around not being listened to, feeling unseen and disrespected, striving to be perfect to be loved was playing out in my relationship with my daughter. I gained clarity that her soul came through me so I could heal developmental and maternal intergenerational core wounds of not feeling enough/valued and therefore bring unconscious/shadow parts into consciousness to be transformed into light. As this happened, my response to her behavior shifted.

I was nervous to have a son. After all, I grew up in a very patriarchal culture and household. I experienced various traumas at the hands of men. I was so frightened I wouldn't be able to love my son as much as my daughter. When my son was born and since then, my view of men has transformed. The love I have for my son transcends his gender. He is pure, divine light to me. All I can see when I see a man walk down the street is the baby he once was and the mama who loves him infinitely.

As I write this, I see myself bowing to my daughter and son for being my spiritual masters and revealing the inner work I need to do to liberate myself, and the generations past and forward in our lineage.

Here is the equation, problem and solution:

Reactivity = Gift to heal our core wound

My child needs to change = What needs to shift within myself? What do I feel? What does this remind me of in my childhood?

To all my sisters, here is what I want you to always remember:

1) As you heal yourself, you heal generations forward and past.

2) Your children chose you for a reason. Whatever is surfacing is what they need you to work through to be who they need you to be.

3) You are giving SO much. Make sure to create time for you to rest, receive and allow the mother to hold and nourish you. The mother energy and archetype may be accessed in a therapist, a prayer, following the moon, or just simply resting on the earth asking for support and releasing all that doesn't serve you.

4) I SEE you! I see your strength, superpowers, and the weight you carry from your matrilineal lineage that suppressed their shadow and pain. You've got what it takes to mother yourself, your little ones, and the earth.