The Archetypal Mother: How All Women Learn to Mother Themselves (whether they give birth to a human or not!)

Becoming a mother for the second time has deepened my connection to the mother archetype. The mother archetype creates, nurtures, heals, teaches, and protects. Even if we did not receive this as a child, we can learn to cultivate this energy both for our inner child and our creations. Our womb (and yes, men also have a womb known as a “Hara”) has the magical and mystical power to create.  We create human life, ideas, a beautiful home, businesses, gardens, ideologies and so much more.  When we nurture our creation and stay attuned to it to know when to give it space, it flourishes. I have learned this lesson with my children, my inner child and my third creation and love, my business. When we learn to apply the mother energy to heal ourselves FIRST, we are then available to be present so our creations can heal their own hurt. Modeling and embodying the work liberates our inner child and all of creation.

I am learning how to protect and nurture my children while doing the same for my inner child, on a profound level (as a therapist I have been on this journey for 22 years). My work as a therapist and my children connect me to all of the feminine archetypes: Queen, Infant Self, Magical Child, Adolescent, Lover, Warrior, Crone and Shadow. These archetypes live in the unconscious and as we learn how to connect and access them in a healthy way, they support us instead of our unconsciously being dominated or controlled by one of them. For example, if our inner child gets triggered when we don’t feel seen or heard (that being an unmet need growing up), she may act out and behave in ways out of accordance with our adult values. Staying mindful, honoring and connecting to whatever archetype is most present and asking what it needs, will support us to feel empowered and integrated.

 Here are a few tips to connect more deeply and strengthen the healing power of your Inner Mother:

  1. Ask yourself:  How is what I am doing serving my creation?

  2. List everything you have given birth to.  Examples include cooking, gardening, children, a beautiful home, a business, deep and meaningful friendships, artistic expression and more. Take the time to see your ability as a creator and breathe this into your body. 

  3. Feel your womb (for men it is their belly) and heart and breathe deeply. The womb is the center of creation. Listen to your body and breathe deeply. Check in with what you are feeling and what wants to be held and/or birthed.

  4. Ask yourself: What do I want to create to make my life feel more full and complete?  You can dance, write, draw or share with someone to create space for what wants to be born and emerge from within you

  5. Spend time in nature.

  6. Do new or full moon rituals.

  7. Reflect and journal about what you did not receive as a baby, child or adolescent and make it a daily intention to give yourself NOW what you needed back then.

  8. Use herbs, crystals, tarot card, oracle cards and other healing tools to connect with the Mother and source of creation.

 (Note for # 3: Sometimes we have to grieve the loss of what was in order to allow our creation to be born. When I became a mother in my 40’s, I had to mourn the loss of my life and freedom such as sleeping late, going on retreats, traveling and attending dance festivals to study with teachers all over the world and much more. I created a collage to honor my maiden and welcome in my role as a mother. In this case, I gave birth to a new identity and needed to fully embody it to give birth to myself AND my offspring. As I mentioned, my role as a mother has deepened my connection to my Inner Mother and this energetic connection is what we and the world needs to heal.)

If you want to learn more about ritual, embodiment, spirituality and connecting with your Inner Mother or any of the 8 other archetypes, feel free to contact me.

 

Oceans of blessings, warmth and care,

 Lara

Birth

While both births were slightly traumatic for me. I came out feeling strong, resolved and powerful as a woman who can bring life into this world. I’ve grown tremendously and want to share how these life lessons apply to the courageous, alchemical work we do in mind body therapy and coaching :).

Now for the life lessons:

1) You are stronger than you think you are.

You have an infinite well of strength that resides within. I experienced it with both of my births, and I see it constantly with clients. At some point during each birth, especially this one where I intended to have a natural, unmedicated birth, I said, “I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much.” I liken this to the work done in therapy. There are moments of resistance when the pain feels too great and we want to escape. This is when it’s important to have someone remind you that YOU are stronger than you think you are. The pain and discomfort WILL pass, especially when we have support and someone to journey with us. During my birth, I reminded myself that women have been doing this for thousands of years and my body was designed to give birth. I also had my husband and doula holding the space, serving as my source of strength when I felt I didn’t have any left. I made it through, welcomed new life and walked away feeling so incredibly empowered, embodied and clear on my strength as a woman and what I am capable of holding. We are stronger individually but even stronger together. We need one another to access the unlimited number of resources that reside within AND to feed our mammalian instinct for touch and attunement. Thank you for allowing me to be your strength during times you couldn’t source your own reservoir within.

2) Create a routine filled with self-care. 

For the birth process, I prepared a large bag filled with supportive resources that invoke a felt sense of safety/ground and remind me that I’m being held in a container much larger than myself. These resources included: crystals, essential oils, a playlist specific for grounding and connecting to spirit/love, very healthy snacks, a new rhythm for my drum, a beautiful dress to birth in and much more. I also purchased beautiful small pouches to place each item in so each time I took them out, I smiled. I share this with you because when we surround ourselves with love, depth and beauty, we invoke the sacred feminine and the challenge we are facing doesn’t seem as daunting. The challenge is then held in a cocoon of love. 

During the postpartum period, I have filled my day with activities and rituals that nurture my body, mind and spirit. These practices ground me to the Mother and bring me more present to the mystery of life, myself and others. Embodiment is key to feeling fully alive and to contain the myriad emotions and sensations that can arise during any time of the unknown.

My wish for you is that you have rituals that support you in accessing spirit (or whatever supports you in feeling into the benevolent force that permeates all of life), deepen your listening to the needs of your body and attend, with compassion and presence, to the emotional landscape inside of you. When we respond to all three, we are led back to our inner balance and homeostasis.

3) Take time for prayer or good wishes

Prayer is something I use when I feel helpless, fearful or powerless. I pray for myself, my family, my clients and every sentient being who is suffering economically, spiritually, physically, emotionally or psychologically. It is ALWAYS accessible and so powerful.

May we all continue to pray for one another and for the end of suffering of any sentient being.

Pregnancy, birthing and motherhood has deepened my experience of prayer. These experiences have served as a reminder that the world needs the sacred feminine qualities of the archetypal mother to heal ourselves, our loved ones and be stewards of the earth. These qualities include: unconditional love, compassion, wisdom, beauty, gentility, patience, acceptance, forgiveness, nurturing, welcoming, accessibility, kindness, intuition and healing.

May we remember to relate to ourselves with these qualities of mother and to extend this compassion and love to the world.

This Birth reminded me, once again, that we are NEVER in control and that sometimes, especially for women, we are used by the divine to bring forth new life (this can be a creative project, career, a movement as well as a new life). This “birth” may be fraught with very deep challenges, grief and loss and sometimes it reveals our shadow side.

The birth experience was a metamorphosis for me. I dropped into a deep surrender, faith, gratitude and self compassion as I took each step along the journey. 

As I embody these qualities even deeper, my commitment is to be of service to you, my family, the earth and all sentient beings.


In deep reverence for your journey and our work together, 

Lara