While both births were slightly traumatic for me. I came out feeling strong, resolved and powerful as a woman who can bring life into this world. I’ve grown tremendously and want to share how these life lessons apply to the courageous, alchemical work we do in mind body therapy and coaching :).
Now for the life lessons:
1) You are stronger than you think you are.
You have an infinite well of strength that resides within. I experienced it with both of my births, and I see it constantly with clients. At some point during each birth, especially this one where I intended to have a natural, unmedicated birth, I said, “I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much.” I liken this to the work done in therapy. There are moments of resistance when the pain feels too great and we want to escape. This is when it’s important to have someone remind you that YOU are stronger than you think you are. The pain and discomfort WILL pass, especially when we have support and someone to journey with us. During my birth, I reminded myself that women have been doing this for thousands of years and my body was designed to give birth. I also had my husband and doula holding the space, serving as my source of strength when I felt I didn’t have any left. I made it through, welcomed new life and walked away feeling so incredibly empowered, embodied and clear on my strength as a woman and what I am capable of holding. We are stronger individually but even stronger together. We need one another to access the unlimited number of resources that reside within AND to feed our mammalian instinct for touch and attunement. Thank you for allowing me to be your strength during times you couldn’t source your own reservoir within.
2) Create a routine filled with self-care.
For the birth process, I prepared a large bag filled with supportive resources that invoke a felt sense of safety/ground and remind me that I’m being held in a container much larger than myself. These resources included: crystals, essential oils, a playlist specific for grounding and connecting to spirit/love, very healthy snacks, a new rhythm for my drum, a beautiful dress to birth in and much more. I also purchased beautiful small pouches to place each item in so each time I took them out, I smiled. I share this with you because when we surround ourselves with love, depth and beauty, we invoke the sacred feminine and the challenge we are facing doesn’t seem as daunting. The challenge is then held in a cocoon of love.
During the postpartum period, I have filled my day with activities and rituals that nurture my body, mind and spirit. These practices ground me to the Mother and bring me more present to the mystery of life, myself and others. Embodiment is key to feeling fully alive and to contain the myriad emotions and sensations that can arise during any time of the unknown.
My wish for you is that you have rituals that support you in accessing spirit (or whatever supports you in feeling into the benevolent force that permeates all of life), deepen your listening to the needs of your body and attend, with compassion and presence, to the emotional landscape inside of you. When we respond to all three, we are led back to our inner balance and homeostasis.
3) Take time for prayer or good wishes
Prayer is something I use when I feel helpless, fearful or powerless. I pray for myself, my family, my clients and every sentient being who is suffering economically, spiritually, physically, emotionally or psychologically. It is ALWAYS accessible and so powerful.
May we all continue to pray for one another and for the end of suffering of any sentient being.
Pregnancy, birthing and motherhood has deepened my experience of prayer. These experiences have served as a reminder that the world needs the sacred feminine qualities of the archetypal mother to heal ourselves, our loved ones and be stewards of the earth. These qualities include: unconditional love, compassion, wisdom, beauty, gentility, patience, acceptance, forgiveness, nurturing, welcoming, accessibility, kindness, intuition and healing.
May we remember to relate to ourselves with these qualities of mother and to extend this compassion and love to the world.
This Birth reminded me, once again, that we are NEVER in control and that sometimes, especially for women, we are used by the divine to bring forth new life (this can be a creative project, career, a movement as well as a new life). This “birth” may be fraught with very deep challenges, grief and loss and sometimes it reveals our shadow side.
The birth experience was a metamorphosis for me. I dropped into a deep surrender, faith, gratitude and self compassion as I took each step along the journey.
As I embody these qualities even deeper, my commitment is to be of service to you, my family, the earth and all sentient beings.
In deep reverence for your journey and our work together,
Lara